This just about sums up half the “personal assistant” jobs I looked at on Craigslist. It’s kinda sad how the media has created this image of Receptionist = Sex Toy. Thanks, Media.
Significant Experience in Requested Field
E. Edward Gray’s Legal Office
Job Duties Included: Habitual typos in important legal documents and required “punishment” for such. A constant need for attention, direction, and correction. Internally lamenting the absence of my father and externally seeking the approval of a dominant male figure.
Reason for Leaving: Married boss.
Christian Gray’s Office
Job Duties Included: Playing hard to get, being easily overwhelmed and manipulated, easily awed by shiny things, having a minimal and unimpressive vocabulary, and successfully eluding contracts.
Reason for Leaving: Was offered a better position in publishing.
Personal Assistant to Jabba the Hutt
Jabba’s Palace, Northern Dune Sea, Tatooine
Job Duties Included: Daily attire in mixed metal bikini, cleaning between Jabba’s folds, occasional dancing, erotic asphyxiation.
Reason for leaving
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